Heart in the Family

Once you have developed a good sense of centering your life on the positive emotions of appreciation, gratitude, caring, loving, contentment, calmness and peace you probably notice that people around you are also more positive.  You may experience yourself as a beacon of positive heart light energy that seems to spread organically outward.  When you are in heart coherence there are fewer obstacles.  Without giving it more thought, your life flows more freely as do your relationships.


Nanette has had a very difficult time with a very self-centered mother.  She struggled over the years thinking that if she just pleased her mother enough she would finally get the love that she was so desperately seeking.  But this has not happened no matter how hard she tried.

She had just learned the heart-centered meditation.  This meditation is based on research done by the Heart Math Institute on heart coherence.  The first step is to establish a breath pattern of 4 or 5 counts in and 4 or 5 counts out.  The second step, while continuing this breath pattern, is to focus on the center heart.  The third is to recall an experience or imagine one that makes you feel good.  The fourth step is to express a deep sense of appreciation or gratitude for this experience.

Remembering the wonderful times she and her family had at Thanksgiving dinners, she thought of a particular picture of her whole family.  Her mother was included along with her husband, children and grand children.  She felt wonderful, which immediately changed her never good enough feeling, to one of deep love for her whole family.

The next day she was taking her mother for their monthly hair, nail and pedicure appointment.  This was always an ordeal because her mother was never satisfied and always complained.  This time however it was radically different.  Nanette greeted her mother pleasantly when she picked her up.  She told her mother, “We are not going to discuss the tip I gave the hair dresser.”  What had happened before in a previous appointment, Nanette rounded up the amount that her mother was paying the girl to the nearest dollar amount, which meant that her mother paid a few pennies more for a tip than was necessary.  Since that incident her mother had berated her, every time they went for their hair appointments.  Now Nanette had had enough and was finally brave enough to make a clear boundary.

Her mother seemed to respect Nanette’s request and the trip proceeded pleasantly.  In fact the whole experience with her mother that day, which included their usual lunch afterward, went better than ever.  When she dropped her mother off, her mother hugged her and said, “I love you.”  Nanette was astounded.  She told me later that she could count on the fingers of one hand and have some left over for the number of times that her mother had not only hugged her but also told her that she loved her.  Nanette attributed the success of the day to the internal shift in her feelings and her new found courage to set good boundaries, which helped her feel love for her mother.


Lucy, age 7, was having a melt down.  The popcorn bowl had fallen.  The popcorn that she had been sharing with her brother was all over the floor.  Their father told them both to pick it all up and not fight about whose fault it was.  “Work together you two!”

Her meltdown came because her brother kept accusing her of spilling it.  “It’s your fault,” he taunted over and over.  As she ran to her mother the flood of tears came quickly as did the waterfall of words.  She wanted her mom to understand the truth.

When mom said quietly, “We’ll get through this.  I am here to help you.  I love you and we’ll do it together.”  The tears stopped.  Her red face cleared and Lucy smiled.  She knew mom was in her corner and that she was loved.

Published by

Carol Marcy

As a holistic clinical psychologist, I view therapy as a deeply spiritual process that occurs within the Primordial Field of Awareness without prejudiced toward any spiritual tradition. The process of therapy involves the whole person: body, mind, spirit and emotional body and a relationship with Nature. It is a process of becoming more self-aware. I enjoy inviting clients to take a journey of self-discovery, examining old ways of being which no longer feel right, changing to new ways and perhaps opening up to new possibilities not before imagined. The heart-centered approach helps to facilitate this process from a positive and life affirming foundation. It not only deeply affects how someone feels about his or herself but naturally moves into how one relates to and is responded to by family, friends, workplace environments and home communities. My office is located on 62 acres of beautiful Southern Maryland woodland. Prior to beginning my day I spend time meditating and connecting with Nature, taking particular care to be centered in my heart. I have written one other book, Living Life as a Prayer: a guide to healing and wholeness, which is available on Amazon.com. This book invites you on a sacred journey of self-discovery. The ways and means to take that journey are demonstrated through poignant stories, illustrative poems, prayers from a variety of traditions, rituals, lively visualizations and step-by-step guidelines. All of these support the basic premise: you are the living prayer that is offered every moment of every day to all of life everywhere through the words you speak, actions you take, feelings you express and thoughts that you think. This book is a guide to help you consciously construct that prayer. Living Life as a Prayer helps you create and manifest a way of life that honors your natural state of being. This natural way is to live in the flow of the grace of Divine energy and to move into the world from the place of a loving heart. Your loving heart not only embraces other people and all of life, but yourself as well. It has been said, “love yourself enough to love another.” You are the prayer that is being offered to the Great Spirit, to the unnamed force that runs through all of life. You are the healing force in the Universe. A bumper sticker reads, “World peace begins at home.” Home is in your own heart. You have the power to bring peace to the world by creating peace in your own heart. Part of the process of becoming a living prayer that you are comfortable with and happy to manifest is to learn to open your heart without fear. There is a 2 CD set filled with helpful meditations, a DVD illustrating three movement meditations and a workbook that follows the chapters in the book offering a deeper personal exploration of the principles discussed.