Making my heart sing

I love to dance but rarely do it any more, except I do say that life is a dance. But the other morning I woke up remembering several dreams I had where I was dancing, doing some kind of improvisation with someone else. I was so happy all morning long. I ought to dance in waking life more often.

A month later I was driving back from MOM’s organic market listening to Bach on the radio. Earlier that morning I had spoken to my ex-husband about how I missed the Bach he practiced every morning and the string quartets he would bring into our home.   I remembered the joy I felt when I was pregnant for the first time taking my child riding in my belly to his concerts. Now here was Bach on the radio. I could see and feel myself dancing to the music. Tears welled up. I haven’t danced for years. A long time ago it was my passion and my profession. Today I wanted to dance more than ever. I had done my yoga in the morning so I had confidence in my body but I was 72 not 23. “Don’t be silly! I feel like dancing and I will as soon as I get home.” The radio station had promised more Bach at noon.

In the last 40 years I have become very self-conscious about dancing. I don’t want to perform. I just want to dance freely from the fullness of my heart and body. Today no one would be watching. It was just me in the quiet beauty of my home. Maybe this would open the door.

My sister had bought me a thrift store dress perfect for dancing when she thought that I might go back to New York City to celebrate the passing of an important dance person in my life. So I quickly changed out of my jeans, put on the black dress with a pair of tie dyed leggings. This felt comfortable, free and fun. I swept the space. Moved the plants so that I would have more room. Even figured out how to get the radio station on my computer and hook up a speaker. I was ready ahead of the Bach.

Oh what joy to move my body to the rhythms of the music. The self-consciousness melted away as I stretched, moved, twisted and turned and became the music. I felt wonderful. My body felt so supple and strong. I felt such gratitude for a healthy, strong and supple body and the inspiration to be dancing again just for the fun of it. My heart was singing. My whole being was singing.